I think that most athletes have similar fears. Amongst all of the fears an athlete could possibly have, I do believe that the biggest fear for all of us is that one injury that could end your career. The idea of having to spend my life not being able to compete is something that I hope I never have to experience let alone imagine. But I was lucky…
2 Weeks ago in Steamboat Springs Co the wind on the hill was not ideal. In ski jumping wind is a huge factor, like an airplane has to adjust flaps to accommodate to wind, we have to adjust our entire bodies. That day on the hill there was a gusty head wind. Walking up the hill it was clear that the entire team was slightly nervous. We were even more nervous after the first jumper on the hill was arm swinging off the takeoff. The next jumper after had a beautiful jump, stable in the flight and going way down the hill. This calmed my nerves as it was now my turn to jump. I remember leaving the bar, I was not scared, I felt confident, and it was as if it was a normal jump. As soon as I left the take-off I got a blast of head wind, naturally I thought to press more onto my skis to try and get back on top in my flight. It seemed that as soon as i pressed the wind disappeared and I was now looking straight at the ground as my right ski was pulled underneath me.
2 Weeks ago in Steamboat Springs Co the wind on the hill was not ideal. In ski jumping wind is a huge factor, like an airplane has to adjust flaps to accommodate to wind, we have to adjust our entire bodies. That day on the hill there was a gusty head wind. Walking up the hill it was clear that the entire team was slightly nervous. We were even more nervous after the first jumper on the hill was arm swinging off the takeoff. The next jumper after had a beautiful jump, stable in the flight and going way down the hill. This calmed my nerves as it was now my turn to jump. I remember leaving the bar, I was not scared, I felt confident, and it was as if it was a normal jump. As soon as I left the take-off I got a blast of head wind, naturally I thought to press more onto my skis to try and get back on top in my flight. It seemed that as soon as i pressed the wind disappeared and I was now looking straight at the ground as my right ski was pulled underneath me.
. The term we ski jumpers use for this is “Tipping In”.(video to right is example) Now when you’re in this position you have two options, the first being to try and pull back your skis to land on your feet. The second is to try and do a form of front flip, the theory is that landing on your back is safer then landing on your head. I figured that option 1 was no longer possible, so I opted to tuck my head and try and rotate. When I hit the ground it was somewhere on my upper back. It didn’t hurt, and I remember opening my eyes to see the plastic sliding past underneath me. | |
I was fully aware of everything that happened and nothing hurt. When I stopped sliding help was their immediately, someone was already working on my bindings and I could hear other teammates asking if I was ok. The first person I saw was my roommate Tyler Smith. Jokingly I said “I think that went rather well” he then responded with “ya man that’s how ya do it”. At this point in time I now realize that if I had known what was actually going on in my body I’m sure my comment would have been “that went pretty terrible” and I’m sure his answer would have been “agreed…”. Sitting up I could tell something was wrong with the left side of my body, I didn’t know what it was but it was this feeling that I had never experienced before. It was something of a tingling stiffness. With some help I managed to get up and walk into the change rooms. At this point the tingling stiffness was beginning to turn into a form of pinch. Luckily I had gotten the top of my suit off already, but then I thought maybe I should feel around just in case. That’s when I felt it, right around my neck was a bone poking out about 5cm higher than usual.
. To feel something like that for me was alarming, I immediately started to panic. Imagine it, feeling the end of your collar bone 5cm out of place. At this point I knew that it was time to go to the hospital, luckily I found our assistant coach Alex and we headed off to the ER. Now I’ve had some pretty terrible car rides in my life, were talking 22 hour journeys pressed shoulder to shoulder to a van of 15 kids, imagine sitting in a very busy sauna, except it’s on wheels and you’re stuck in it for 22 hours. Yes that kind of car ride is terrible, but it was nothing compared to this. There was no way I could sit that didn’t hurt, and what was a pinch in my shoulder was now turning into a pain that can only be described as someone tightening a vice on everything in your shoulder. Though the distance from the hill to the Hospital was only something like 15 minutes, it felt like hours had passed before seeing the glowing welcome sign. |
I was helped out of the car and then went rushing into the ER. The thing about US hospitals is that their private health care, now this is something that did not cross my mind. As soon as I walked into the door I looked directly at the lady behind the desk and yelled, “My collar bone is broken and it hurts so much”. I was expecting a team of nurses to then bring me a bed, stick some needles in my arm and go to sleep. I got this idea from the very accurate Hollywood movies…. No instead I stood in my jumping boots and suit and answered a series of questions. I think the lady asked me something like 10 questions, I’ve never been so angry to answer 10 questions in my life. After the usual name, age, ETC questions I decided it would be easier for everyone to give the lady my dad’s phone number so I could move onto the part where I was comfy and happy in a nice bed with no pain. And eventually I got there. Sure it wasn’t until an hour later, after some more questions, an IV, and some snuff that you snort up your nose. Though the pain in my shoulder was starting to go away it was nothing compared to the pain in knowing that my upcoming trip to Europe and Lake Placid was now cancelled, as well as the first competition in the winter season would not be the same. Tears began to fall, not because of the pain, not because of the drugs, because for a while, I would not be able to do what I love.
Most athletes are scared of injuries, but we’re all scared of something that would stop us from being able to do what we love. I was lucky though, a broken collar bone will heal after time, and I will be back on my skis in no time. Though this is a setback, it will not be holding me back from training hard when I come back, it won’t stop me from still wanting to see Canada on top of the podium, and it won’t stop me from pursuing my ultimate dream.